7 out of 11 pages. 4 more pages of posts to manually edit. OMG.
SO, fishytank was officially compromised due to the lack of maintenance on my part after so many years of inactivity. Between killing it off by hiding it behind a maintenance page and reviving it, I kinda chose the latter.
To my surprise, I actually managed to recall enough of whatever is left of the knowledge from my IT diploma to revive this site. It feels quite good actually, almost feels like the compromise was a blessing in disguise.
On a separate note, as much as it is a brand new start for fishytank, it's gonna be a brand new start for me soon too. Let's hope all goes well!
owning a car is easy should probably go think it over 50 times.
In just one week, I attended two wakes.
In times like this, I am often overwhelmed by emotions; relating to the feelings of the surviving family members. I remember vividly the feelings of regret, helplessness and grieve; the desire for someone to truly understand how it felt like. However I have no idea what to say or do for my two friends except try to be there for them, because when I was in the same situation, nothing seemed to ease the pain I felt, no matter what people said or did. All I knew was I wanted to let them know that they can come to me whenever they needed someone to talk to.
Today at the crematorium, when I was watching the cold, unfeeling and automated process of the entire cremation, the gush of emotions I experienced two years back came back to me, as though it was happening all over again. I remember that I came to the realization that life is in fact a very simple journey, it’s exactly like a race; you have your starting point, your hurdles along the way and of course the end. I learnt that life is such a fleeting process and that maybe many things we feel important in our lives are not very important after all. Because no matter how you lived your life, we all meet with the very same ending.
I went to my grandmother’s niche after the ceremony. Looking at the photo she asked me to enlarge for her, looking at the engravings of the day she left, it seriously felt as though everything happened yesterday. I realised that apart from the times I visited my grandmother at Mandai, I lacked the courage to look at her photos. I lacked the courage to relive the memories I had with her. I think I simply miss her a lot.
To both my friends, I know that it’s not easy at all. I know it’s all bullshit when people tell you that your loved one would not bear to see you so sad. I know you just need time to say goodbye. So if there’s anytime you feel you need someone to talk to, please let me know. It takes time, but I know you will recover from it, stronger than before.
To Ah Ma, I hope you are doing well and I hope you’ve heard everything I said to you in front of your niche ever since you left. I love you.
So miracles do happen and dreams do come true!
During the good Friday weekend while I was enjoying myself in Malaysia stuck in traffic jams and waiting for buses, the holy paycheck was credited into my bank account! I guess I got saved from eating grass all the way till May 12.
It feels really good to know that I can finally contribute, no doubt in a small way, to the family. After so many years of dependency on others, its good to know that I can finally be depended on.
Work had been generally good so far, although sometimes I do see similarities to the corporate world in my field. Work gets pushed away to somebody more junior and things like that. But that aside, some students really make my day. At the end of the day, seeing some naughty students change for the better can be really satisfying.
Oh. One more thing about me realising one of my long time dream. Ladies and Gentlemen, hold and behold! The Delonghi EC155 Espresso Maker!
I’m a sucker for coffee, like really. And so, it is only logical for me to become a barista myself! HAHA! This entry level espresso maker is quite adequate for my needs right now and is keeping me occupied every night! Goodbye Coffeebean! Hello Jiataobean!
So drop over for some coffee sometimes, ya’ hear? Woohoo!
PS: Recent outings with the Girlfriend were rather meaningful and enjoyable. Please visit her blog for more details. =)
Everything’s been confirmed. And its really not bad. But guess I’ll be eating grass till May 12.
Please let a miracle happen. Sigh.
Made a decision recently, hopefully its a correct one. But then again, who am I to say when I haven’t even know whether I’m successful?
It kinda suck to be unemployed really, what a bad time to graduate. I wanna have my own income!
Lets hope I succeed.